‘I’ll be your substitute whenever you want me, Oooh-hoo. Don’t you know I’ll be your substitute whenever you need me, Oooh-hoo.’ – Substitute by Clout
To love is to lose. A truism.
We lose: romances to reality, marriages to divorce, parents to death, children to growing up, pets to neighbors, our favorite tea to discontinuation, the addictive series to the onset of bad screenwriting.
Is there any benefit to losing? Irritatingly, yes.
We gain: depth of character, experience, empathy, the will to live, righteous indignation leading to right action, flexibility, resourcefulness, the ability to complain pleasantly.
How to cope? I employ The Replacement/Substitution Remedy (I’ve never had to name it before):
If you no longer have a marriage do you still have family and friends? If your pet defected could your partner benefit from some heavy petting? If your child or lover moves out can your hobbies and annoying habits move in? When the series goes blah can you close your square eyes and enjoy your free audio book trial? etc
It’s a variation of that infuriating advice to ‘count your blessings’.
So I can say with some clout that I know how to substitute.
What’s your to-love-is-to-lose remedy?