What we want doesn’t always come to us when we want it, how we want it, or as who we want. We get what we need. We get what will guide us, facilitate a course correction, hold us accountable. And, to top it all …
… bad things happen. It sucks.
Invisible forces open a way for us, coaxing us into closer proximity to our authentic needs. We don’t know we have authentic needs. Not yet. All we know is our wants, and who needs challenges and sadness when we have wants?
What makes it even more confusing is how we use the word need when it’s really a want, and then throw away what we really need with a don’t before need.
I want a car, but I got a bicycle. I need a car, I don’t need this bicycle.
I want a stable partner, but I got a commitment-phobic player. I need a stable partner, I don’t need this commitment-phobic player.
Here’s why the Universe gives me an authentic need (the bicycle and the player) which is nothing like what I want and is falsely named a need by me.
I need a bicycle because I’m unfit, and my heart is just about ready to take a very long break. I need a bicycle because, if I had a car, I’d puff my way from my front door to my Toyota and drive one block to buy my cigarettes.
I need a bicycle because, while driving to the shop, I’ll have a heart attack and die at the wheel before I’ve accomplished what I need to do. What I need to do is strengthen my heart while cycling to work and walking to the shop. Why?
Because I need to help other people do the same when I qualify as a fitness coach. Ta-da!
I need a player because, when he breaks my unhealed heart over and over again, I’ll breakup with him. When I breakup with him I’ll be so sick of repeating the same old pattern in every relationship I run into with open arms and a load of baggage, I’ll retreat from relationships.
When I retreat from relationships I’ll see how little I know about me, how little time I gave myself, how little I became because I didn’t know how big I am when I’m not making myself small.
When I discover that the person I need the most is me, I’ll be ready to do what I came here to do. What did I come here to do?
Hence the term hidden blessings. A good thing emerges from what feels like a bad thing. The benefits lurk in the background; invisible, unacknowledged, until the day we look back and say It taught me so much about myself, or It changed me and my life for the better, or I understand now.
It can be rough, nauseating, and exhausting. We face the worst in ourselves and in others.
But, in this process of getting what we need, we also find the best in ourselves and in others. Many hold aloft a light, brightening our blind stumble across a wet deck in inky darkness, easing our lurching, seasick passage through stormy episodes.
Transformation is what we need. We go from caterpillar (full of wants) to chrysalis (getting what we need) to butterfly (from goo to I flew!)
What I want right now is a cup of tea. Do I need it?
Of course I do!
I need what I want …