Are you dynamite? Sent to blow us up, blow us to bits? We’ve solidified, settled into our life like an immovable, stubborn mound of rocks, and you come along with your short fuse and explosive intentions and destroy our stale stability and structure.
Bless you, because you signed up for the shittiest job, and you’ll be on everyone’s what an asshole list.
What would the world be without you?
You’re the way through. To build the tunnel, lay the tracks, get somewhere we didn’t even know we needed to go, we need assholes. You’re the wake-up call.
Sorry for addressing you as the asshole. I know you’re not an asshole. It’s how I started. Now I’m going to switch to talking about assholes, not to them, because they’re not reading this (I hope).
If we look at assholes as having the unenviable job of pissing us off so radically we step up and do something about how uncomfortable we’re feeling, they’re necessary. And moving it outward, to communities, to the world, it’s the dynamite people who blast into hardened, fossilized systems and make such a mess of them they can’t be repaired. All we’re left with is rubble.
I can’t pretend nothing has happened, do nothing, if I’ve been blown apart, scattered in every direction. I’ve got to bring all those bits of myself back to one place, gathering them together in a salvageable pile, and do the superhero thing – come back with one helluva scary bionic body, or know-it-all brain, or kick-ass equipment.
Spoiler alert. Think of The Iron Giant, one of the best animated movies EVER, and the beeping, flashing, rolling, hopping, buried-in-the-snow bits of the giant travelling great distances to reunite and become one. You. Just. Know. He. Is. Going. To. Be. Exceptional (which he was already, so maybe that’s why they never made a sequel?)
Perfect asshole in Agent Kent Mansley too, don’t you think?
It costs the asshole to do what they do. They are the face of the explosion they facilitate, pinned to our minds as a lunatic, sad joke, narcissist, selfish bastard etc.
We look at the aftermath and decide what to make of it. It forces us to find another way to get to a new destination. No more same old, same old.
So how do I finish this off so it’s not same old, same old?…
I’ll go out with a leeeeetle bang…