What attitude would your lively mind adopt if it knew the glittering eulogy you’re listening to, or reading, was written by the deceased before they passed away?
I think your mind would think it’s like that office worker who helps himself to his colleagues’ packed lunches and bad-mouths them to management (the colleagues, not the lunches, which are rather good) writing his own reference in which he states honesty, consideration, loyalty – all are hallmarks of Dales’ relationship with his teammates.
Which brings me, beautifully, to a quote I have on a card:
Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.John Wooden
Dales’ reputation is that of the office jerk, accurately reflecting his character. This accuracy is not always attained. A fine reputation can mask a bad character, and a bad reputation can be pinned on a good character.
Speaking well of the undeserving dead
Last week I was part of a group discussing death.
A woman shared her feelings about the glowing review her friend’s dead ex-husband enjoyed on Facebook. She was angered by the hypocrisy and inaccuracy of certain claims made in the flattering tribute.
Rave life reviews are bound to piss us off when we’ve witnessed or experienced injustices at the hands of the recently departed. We’re not prepared for what feels like insult added to injury. The culprit gets off scot-free, embalmed in sweet-smelling reputation oils.
Bury your dead
Thinking of the villain as a soul who volunteered to play this role on the stage of my life depersonalizes the nasty mess for me. If they’re still here, I know that, no matter how many times I mutter Exit stage right, they’re not going to leave until they’ve delivered all their lines. And then, when they die…
they will likely be back for the eulogy curtain call, appearing as innocent as Casper the Friendly Ghost, blowing misty kisses to rising, swelling applause.
Everyone has people who love them, thinks the world of them, even the dastardly. That’s life, and true in death too. Don’t allow the opinions of others to gaslight your reality, but don’t allow their opinions to rot you. Rotting is for the dead.
Whether a villain is still here and drinking beer, or long gone and beginning to pong, I work hard to bury what is dead, and resist the urge to keep digging it up.
If none of this helps or consoles, I do as advised below, replacing ‘your boss’ with whatever fits. I suggest you do the same for your ‘Dale.’
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.David Brent
We’re assuming you’re lunch is still in the fridge, and that you have a fork…
or has the lunch-snatcher nicked the office forks too?
To a funeral and eulogy we go
Mr Moses departed in the red, see? (pointing to an open-for-viewing coffin wherein lies the deceased, arms folded across his chest, hands resting on a giant credit card). He crossed over to the other side without any goddamn help from the powers that be. Brethren, let’s bow our heads and pray we are not told to follow in his footsteps. We do not wish to be left high and dry. Amen.
I’m dead serious when I tell you I’m joking.
If you are still here, as in reading my blog in your flesh, not as a Spirit, thank you.
If you are reading this and you’re in Heaven, thank you.
If you are Casper the Friendly Ghost, I am not familiar with your cartoons, but I did enjoy the first one featured in the video below because I’ve been to Ireland, and one of my sisters is married to an Irish man.
Toodle-oo, and mischievous leprechaun love to you.
xxx ❤ TeaShell Michele