I’ve pensioned off a few of my “bouncer plants” (aka weeds), and I feel bad about it. Faced with a section of dead ground as hard as cement, so compacted gardening implements twanged in terror, I adopted a rehabilitation program that requires a thick skin. The only plant willing to root in the aforementioned barren,… Continue reading Green Mean
Category: About Life
Brrrrr! Shower Power
Photo by Pixabay This morning I had a cold shower. Slowly put bits and pieces of myself under the water. I gasped, my heart lurched, and I thought "I'm too old for this. If I peg now the medics will get an eyeful of parts of me I don't want them to see, parts they… Continue reading Brrrrr! Shower Power
Thinking in Flip Flops
I ate an orange and tasted heaven. You ate an orange and found a worm in it. Both events are true. I cannot insist only orange trees grow, and uproot every other tree. You cannot uproot every orange tree, exterminating them because that is your preference. I continue to eat oranges and remember not to… Continue reading Thinking in Flip Flops
A Bit of Weed
Nothing like a bit of weed to cheer oneself up. I've been giving all the plants in my garden sidelong glances, thinking "Can I eat you?" Not because I'm high (I've never smoked a plant, but I darn well intend doing so before I die. I better hurry up then hey. I suspect no one… Continue reading A Bit of Weed
Future Fair Game
With alarming assurance my eldest son tells me I will cop it in the first round of a dystopian world or zombie apocalypse because I came without the elbow-in-your-face evolutionary gene required for survival. The look he exchanges with his younger brother combines exasperation and silent strategizing - they don't want me to be taken… Continue reading Future Fair Game
Half Your Bananas Please
There is much of the bonobo in me. Like any self-respecting, socialized primate, I cannot scratch a back without throwing in an unsolicited grooming session. Techniques have evolved to accommodate the pitiful absence of fleas and parasites: any change in surface texture results in a focused, nails in exfoliation or extraction. Recipient responses vary, from… Continue reading Half Your Bananas Please
